he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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