woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
