ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
