Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
