I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
