wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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