You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
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