Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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