so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
