it's too hot outside to masturbate.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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