They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
