this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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