I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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