So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
