Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
