your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
