I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
