just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
