Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
