Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
