Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize