Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
