But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
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We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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