I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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