i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
