her vagine was all disorganized.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
