You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
