you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
