apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
