so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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