I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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