There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
