Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
