Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
