Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
