I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
