she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
