I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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