I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
