my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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