I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
we're chasing vodka with high fives
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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