i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
