when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
