What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
