You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize