I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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