i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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