Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
