lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
