Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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