guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
