nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
