I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
