Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
