I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Let's get the cat blown out
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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