i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
