I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
