So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
