i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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