do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
