Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
